The Basement Dweller

So there is a lady I work with here at the store who works in the lower level (aka the basement) and only comes up for the following reasons:

• She is hungry and needs to go get food
• She needs to speak to my boss
• She needs to use the restroom
• She has something b*tchy to say to me

I have dubbed her the basement dweller for a variety of reasons, despite her working downstairs.  She has such a negative attitude towards every thing and everyone.  She always treats people like crap, no matter who it is.  And the way she talks to people is deserving of someone who spends their life in a basement.  She is so beyond rude that it almost isn't worth saying anything nice to her.  I have tried to be nice and it always backfires in my face.  She is just such a snot.  She is supposedly British (I have yet to hear an accent or experience anything that suggest she is) and she is supposedly months away from retirement.  God, Yes please!

She always points out other people's mistakes, and, even after an explanation, continues to reprimand them for a small mistake.  AND YET- She makes bookkeeping mistakes all the time (costing up into the thousands!!!!) and makes excuse after excuse that people are just suppose to accept.  Such Bull!

She says she is going to show you how to do something even though you know how to do it and she treats you like you are stupid and 5 years old in the process.  She supposedly use to be a teacher??  Well, if she was my teacher I would have dropped out of her class faster than a bolt of lightning!  She is worse than my 7th grade math teacher!! ugh!

OK.  I think I am done ranting about the Basement Dweller today.  Hmm... Maybe calling her Gollum for short would be good... or is that going too far?

I am seriously starting to wonder

Do I have a stamp on my forehead that says "Blame for everything"?  I feel like my boss thinks it does.  Everything is my responsibility, even stuff that isn't part of my job.
To give you an idea, here are some of the things I get in trouble for at my job:

• My coworker not being at his post 
• Not knowing how to find something completely obscure that a customer is looking for in a department I have BARELY worked in.
• My boss forgetting about something that I talked to him about only the day or two before.
• Something that happened when I wasn't even in the store.
• Something not being written down in inventory that I didn't even know existed in the store.
• Something not having the retail price in that probably was inputted by the person who worked my position before I was even here.
• Another coworker forgetting to write down a message, something on a repair tag, an item that needs to be ordered.  Aka anything a coworker forgot to write down.
• For being trained one way to do something, but it isn't the way he wants it done.  (mind-- he has never trained me or tried to)
• For waiting near where he is looking up an answer for the answer.
• For watching something he is doing because he is talking to me while doing whatever it is he is doing.
• For talking to the repair guys, whether it be about business or not. (and yet other boys I work with can go talk to them whether it be business or not and they don't even get spoken to)
• If I don't answer the phone within a certain number of rings when his highness calls.  (And yet customers are expected to wait while he finishes talking)

There is so much more, but I am already beyond frustrated when I see all of this.. I am so beyond done.

The first cut is the deepest.

I can't take it anymore.  I have been trying to be strong through everything, but I just don't know how much longer I can try to be strong.  I am not happy.  My job is stressful and I only get one day off a week in which I do all the cleaning around the house.  I do not enjoy working in the retail world.  I don't know what kind of job would make me happy.  I have been having this problem since college.  I am not happy in anything I do.  I take career tests to see what I would be good at and it doesn't help.  I think about things I could do and then I know I don't want to do them.  I am trained in music, but I don't know if I want to do anything with that.  I am sick of others having control of my life and what I have to do when I have to do it.  It is very frustrating.  I want the freedom to do what I want to do when I want to do it.  I hate feeling trapped.  I don't like having my freedom cut off and feeling stuck in the same monotonous routine.  The problem- I can't do anything to fix it.  I have no free time to myself to figure anything out.  I work Monday through Saturday from Opening to Close at the store and by the time I get home I have no mental or physical energy to get anything done.

Why do I bother even writing this when no one is even reading it?

What's might be right for you, might not be right for some..

So everyone who is following me on here knows I have been trying to lose weight since before Jer and I got married... that is pushing 2 years.  I have tried going to the gym, counting calories, diet supplements, and everything else you can think of.  Nothing was working.  I got excited when I started working at my new job and I lost 5 lbs!  I was finally back in the 150's... well... Christmas screwed me out of that.  I am back into the 160's, if even by .4lbs.  It is driving me up a wall!  I don't have the patience for weight watchers. I don't have the space in my house to do the at home work outs, and I am not able to run due to my knee always giving out when I try. Someone stole my bike so that isn't an option.  Plus, my work schedule keeps me busy all day and makes me want to do nothing but crash when I get home.

So what do I do?

Well, I have decided to just do what is healthy.  I am replacing those sugary and salty snacks that I usually consume with fruits, veggies, and nuts.  I am trying to eat more veggies with meal, more fruit when I can, and I am trying to drink water instead of soda and sugary beverages.  I got a 100% juicy juice that I love for breakfasts that I drink, but besides that I am going to not get other drinks.  I am going to try to not crash out all the time at home.  Even if it is something as simple as cleaning the house while dancing to the iPod, I will do it.  I wish there was a mall closer to me so I could just walk around it a few times just to get some exercise in. Maybe on Sundays... who knows...