The Initiator

Ok so I know I already wrote a post today, but I can't keep this one in:

I FEEL LIKE I AM THE ONE WHO IS ALWAYS INITIATING!


I am sick and tired of being the one who has to call the friend, who has to IM the friend, who has to schedule time to hang out, who has to be the one to keep the friendship together!  I feel like I am always the one who tries to create friendships with the people around me.  I try to be there and support the people around me and I get attitude in return.  I know I am not perfect.  Yes I gossip.  Yes I am weird.  Yes I have a different personality.  Why does that mean that I can't try to form friendships?  Why does that mean that people can't try to be my friend?  I am sick of sitting on the couch every night, trying to talk to my friends, getting little to no response, or being left mid conversation.  I am sick of being left alone with no one here.  I know I don't have money to go out places, but all I want is for someone to come sit with me and talk.  Seriously!  GAH!

I am done.